i'm sick of feeling inadequate
like i'm not good enough
with my headphones in my ears
and a murmur or a mumble or a stumble of words
passes through my lips and
i'm ignored and i'm invisible
i'm sick of not seeing the bigger picture
because there are people that love me but
i'm too angry or tired or sad or fed up
and it's exhausting to feel like no one cares
about what i have to say
or what i think
i'm sick of self-pitying every day
and i hate myself for deriving
pleasure from it and feeling comforted by it
like the same old song played
over and over and over
while i think of what could be rather than
what is
i wish i didn't have to be
happy or sad or neutral or annoyed
or in love or opinionated or talkative
or unusually quiet or anxious
i wish i could
just be. ✦
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